The truth is out there!

Sept 6th. Day 6
On effys blog along
TODAY’S NUDGE: Write about your hometown, your roots, or where you come from.


     Have you ever asked yourself where your CREATIVITY comes from? I was six years old and my great grand mother Oank, was in the hospital dying from a stroke. While we were in there thinking she was possibly going to make it, we had all the hope in the world she would, her screen flat lined. A second stroke, and she was gone. I remember not knowing what to think. How to react. But I cried for days. I wasn't able to go to her funeral, because my mom thought I was too young to attend. I remember writing for several days. About anything and everything. Yes, at 6! I wrote. I even had a short story published in a local 4 h group for the state from this, experience.
     In my life I have never understood life and death.
     I have had several people gone way too soon. At very young ages, suicide, cancer, car wrecks, those that lived hard lives, ect. You name it. I won't go into detail. But I think my creativity comes from the deep dark place from the walls within me. I fully believe my creativity comes from the haunting memories of those loved ones lost, way too soon.
    While my art might not be deep dark and depressing, there are several layers that build up a page. And the end result is very light and pleasing to the eye, almost celebrating the life of the person. When I write it is the same, I write about memories with that person, and it brings them back to me. Almost keeping them alive with me. But I know they are no longer with us.
     I read this quote once, "Our creativity comes from without, not within!" I firmly believe this. While the walls within me create my works of art, poems, ect, I am writing and creating from without having this person in my life anymore. I have never avoided creating. It is a release for me. But I haven't really sat too long to ponder where my creativity actually comes from.
     The truth is out, and if feels so good finally admitting to my loved ones, where I believe my creativity comes from. I mean, how on earth I went from one day to drawing stick figures, to all of the sudden drawing faces and such still shocks me! And my poetry and writings, are deep, just as the layers of an 100 year old oak tree. They make you ask questions. I still ask my self, I wrote that when I am done? My only answer is that I am haunted so to speak. And when I write I don't know where these words come from. At times I am even dumbfounded, and I feel like someone else grabbed my pen and wrote it.
     While, it may seem I have it figured out where my creativity comes from, I still don't know! My Dad always says, "You don't know what ya don't know!" This seems like a good enough question to explore today. I know my Dad is a great writer, my grandmother that is still alive loves to write, and so does my grandfather. (Even though I am adopted, I think I have adapted to their writing skills and honed in on them as I grew up, from them....) But this painting creativity, I can honestly only answer today, that I believe it comes from being haunted so to speak at a young age....